I found this little gem while I was looking for a good photo to start this post. I’m surprised I have never heard this before. Seems like something every family should have hanging on their wall next to their “Family Rules” canvas. I can certainly tell you that I have said “someday I will focus on my health”, and I’ve also wondered what year someday would fall in. Would I be 50 before someday rolled around? Would it be after a doctor tells me that I have diabetes and have to inject an insulin shot everyday for the rest of my life? I had no idea when someday would finally come. I was as surprised as anyone to find that someday for me landed on Sept 1, 2020. How bizarre. I wasn’t particularly tuned into watching out for someday. I just loosely knew it would come eventually. So when someday landed in my life just this past week, I was quite taken-aback. If you had asked me on Aug 30th if I was considering taking control of my health, I would have probably looked at you and said, “someday”. So how on earth did someday sneak up on me – how did I not see it coming?
I have this keen belief that “Everything is Always Exactly Perfect“. I say it all the time. I truly believe it. But it certainly leaves one to think, “If that’s true, then why am I unhealthy? Being unhealthy isn’t perfect”. And that is a valid thought, to be sure. However, we aren’t really able to see the end of the story by standing in the middle of it. That’s the gift of hindsight. I have found that as I get older, the more impactful hindsight becomes. I have a longer view now than I did at 20. I can look backwards and see patterns over my life. I can see how one situation lead to another. I can see how responding – or not responding – to a given situation created new circumstances for me. The best way to illustrate this is with a story from my past that I fully believe unfolded exactly the way it had to unfold in order for me to be the person I am today.
When I was a child, I had a rocky relationship with my mother. We never were on the same page. And then one fateful day when I was 15, my mother was in a fatal car accident and I never had the opportunity to reconcile our relationship. This created many years of mental and emotional turmoil for me. I spent many years working through the trauma of that event. I went on to have my own children. To have a daughter. My relationship (or lack thereof) with my mother directly influenced the relationship I have with my daughter. I knew life was short and I never wanted her to feel as if she missed out on having a relationship with me if I died before I should. My daughter is now entering her 20s and we have a wonderful relationship. I am so thankful for it. This doesn’t mean that I am thankful that my mother died; however, I can appreciate that the event created in me a deep need to be close to my children in a way I didn’t have as a child. This situation was “perfect” for me in order to develop something important in my life.
I understand that this story might be a tad drastic for most of us. Not everyone deals with early childhood trauma and goes on to be thankful for what that produced in their lives. But the point is, I can say that me having “pushed-off” caring about my health year after year has been the exact catalyst needed for my “someday” to finally manifest in my life. And this isn’t just about changing eating habits. Everybody has a someday – someday I’ll meet the right person, someday I’ll run that marathon, someday I’ll go to Italy, someday I’ll join that club…whatever it is – if we are still saying “someday”, then clearly that day hasn’t come.
What I want to express is that we can’t deem our situation “bad” or ourselves as having “failed” if our someday hasn’t come yet. Because YOUR current situation is most likely the exact impetus that you need in order to manifest YOUR someday. And those circumstances – those ingredients – needed to create the day you have been waiting for are going to be unique to YOU. So all you ever need to say to yourself is, “It will all make sense, Someday“.
The Ke-To Living 